Testimony of Christi Craddock Taylor, Founder, President and Counselor at His Truth Transforms International
I never felt like I measured up. Emotions ruled me. Poor self-image led me down a pathway of starving myself, then ultimately to binge eating and purging. My vice was food. At fourteen my identity was based on the belief people would like and accept me if I looked a certain way.
I had Christian parents that loved me unconditionally. I was in church and knew God but turned from God and began a downward spiral. I chose to abuse food, drugs and alcohol to fill the emptiness within me. I believed Satan’s lies that I was worthless, ugly, stupid and fat. I felt totally hopeless, out of control and my life was not worth living.
Now in my thirties I longed for something deeper and decided to try God. I started meeting with a Biblical counselor who helped me understand how to have a personal relationship with Christ. The truth from God’s Word spoke of His acceptance of me. Everything I needed was in Christ (2 Peter 1:3).
Previously, every negative word is how I viewed myself, but now I saw myself as a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). My negative beliefs based on the world’s system began to be countered by God’s truth. I chose to believe how God sees me as beautiful, whole, smart, equipped, redeemed, loveable, and self-controlled. I learned of my identity in Christ and how I no longer needed to turn to alcohol, drugs or food to fill my needs. I could lean on God instead.
Through the Holy Spirit I began to recognize the lies and evaluate why I thought that way. I would go to God and express these beliefs and He would take me to His Word for the truth. Even in the midst of my struggle with an eating disorder, I saw in scripture He did not condemn me (Romans 8:1). He loved and accepted me even when my behavior was not lovable. As I chose to believe His truth, change took place.
I gained freedom. I recognized Satan’s condemning voice, “See you failed again, you will never get better.” I tried to change the outside but I needed changing on the inside. God showed me that He was bigger and as I believed His truth, not my feelings or emotions or Satan’s lies, change continued to occur in me. I realized I could make a choice to stop at any time and say, “God I need You, I can’t do this on my own.” I let God conquer this struggle through me. I evaluated why I was eating emotionally and let God reveal the truth.
I no longer have an eating disorder but there are times I battle with eating emotionally. Renewing my mind with God’s truth and letting the Holy Spirit give me self-control is a life-long process. As I give my life to Him, He will equip me to resist the devil (1 Corinthians 10:13). This is done moment-by-moment as I relinquish my heart and will to His will. I put off the lies and put on the truth (Ephesians 4:22-24). I let God’s truth be the final authority, not my emotions, beliefs or thoughts.
I have found peace and joy in God. Not the God of my making who I thought failed me, was mean, and pointed His finger at me but the God of the Bible, who loves and accepts me, doesn’t condemn me but died for me. Through faith in Christ and believing the truth I am set free and continuing to be set free. I realize my life is worth living!
I am forever grateful for my counselor who patiently and lovingly spoke God’s truth to me. Because of how drastically my life changed and the inner peace and joy I found through Christ, I am passionately helping others today at His Truth Transforms International. Praise God!